I’ve felt less chatty than usual lately, hence the lack of rants. As I sat here, wondering what was wrong with me, I started browsing and going through my usual list of webcomics, when I had an epiphany: After taking a long, hard look at Tycho and Gabe’s posts at Penny Arcade I decided that what I need is a Nemesis. An enemy I can hate. Someone who will contradict everything I say with bad spelling and grammar. A mischievous foe, unparalleled in cunning and wit.

To obtain this mythical, hateful person would be a laudable objective. It would liven up the rants, give me an excuse to post more and create an entertaining atmosphere filled with witty banter and engaging posts. But alas!, it is not my destiny to have such a person. Since I pretty much do everything around here (and by that I mean that all of the slacking in the site coding, design and updates can ultimately be blamed on me), I lack a partner to exchange unpleasantries with. What a conundrum, huh?

The solution to this problem, then, might be to invent someone. This could be Evil me (bleh), Mini me (done), or maybe Whiny me (as if I don’t do enough of that already). I can picture it right now:

Me: Despite what this strip may suggest, I am quite fond of Apple hardware. I truly believe they have done a great job with the integration of their applications and OS X. I find it very commendable that they have put a pretty face on UNIX.

Evil Me: j00 are teh sux00rz and th4t eez bullsh1t!!1111!! LOL I am teh l33t h4x0rz and I’ma beat yo a$$ bitch!

Me: You raise very valid and thoughtful points. I shall address them one by one in…

Evil Me: n00b!!! n00b!! fuk yuose!!!

Me: Indeed. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

Evil Me: j00 haf NO ballz!!!

On the other hand, making Evil me an AOLer may not be a very good idea. I’ll have to work on this later..

About the strip content: I do like Apple machines. Except the ludicrously big and unwieldly 17” tiBook. You all know what I think about that one. I used to see them as toys but I must admit that they won me over with the whole OS X thing. I mean, lickable interfaces!!! and IN UNIX, NO LESS! Their marketing department, on the other hand, sometimes misses the point spectacularly. The “speed of lightning” quote actually came directly from the original description of the Quartz Extreme windowing system of OS X. This caused quite a few laughs over at Slashdot when it was brought up, since lightning is not very fast, really. They also choose the damnedest names for their technologies, (Velocity Engine?? — puh-leeze!!).

— sergio on June 06, 2003