Movie Review: Titus

every single time I see a movie that is based off a Shakespeare play, I think to myself “Myself: wouldn’t it be cool to be reading this?”. Every-single-time, except, that is, when I saw Hamlet. That time, I kept thinking “Myself, wasn’t this cool back when you read it?”.

It kills me that people keep trying to do these stupid, lameass adaptations of Shakespeare’s plays. Whether it be Julie Taymor/Anthony Hopkins’ Titus, Almereyda/Ethan Hawke’s Hamlet, Whatsisname/Dicaprio’s Romeo + Juliet, or hell, even Greenaway’s Prospero’s Books (The Tempest), Shakespeare adaptations STINK!. There are several things wrong with them in general, and with Titus in particular. Let us begin with the general stuff:

Shakespeare was a good writer. Hell, you can practically distill Human Emotions from his plays. Therein lies the first problem: Shakespeare’s plays are nothing but elongated, overdramatized explorations of Human Emotion. Not prime movie material, if you ask me. But then, nobody asked me, or there wouldn’t be so many damn awful movies based on the things, right? Let’s take a look at the usual turns of events on Shakespeare’s plays, shall we? Well, there’s usually a lot of different characters who engage in despicable acts regardless of whether they are the good guys or the bad guys. These two definitions are always clearly marked. There’s romance, sex, jealousy, betrayal, revenge and usually a great deal of horrid mutilation of body parts. Sounds like every movie producer’s wet dream right? Hell yes!. And therein lies the problem: I think movie producers are making their decisions to adapt Shakespeare’s plays after reading the fucking blurb on the jacket of the books.

If they took a closer look at the plots (which would involve actually opening the book), they’d realize right away that there are many problematic elements movie-wise: The overly complicated plans either side makes are just ludicrous and hang on impossible assumptions (but later they work out almost exactly as the planner intended, because, apparently, the planee’s are just plain idiots). There’s also the matter of the poetic dismemberment: As cool as it sounds having someone lose their hands and get them replaced with tree branches, those things just don’t translate well to the screen. The action ends up looking corny and weird. Then there’s the matter of the insanity: Shakespeare wasn’t just a playwright. The man was a poet (a good one, at that). His trademarked insanity is taking me over dialogs read extremely well, but I strongly believe delivering Hamlet’s To be or not to Be… dialog with a straight face is one of the greatest accomplishments any movie actor can have. Too bad I’m not buying.

There is a simple truth that every movie producer that embarks in one of these ventures ignores: Shakespeare wrote for Theater. The mannerisms, the eloquence, the whole shebang is very well suited for grandiose live acting in huge stages. These are Farces, not fucking Action/Drama blockbusters for crying outloud! Case in point: Titus, from the Titus Andronicus play. This movie tells the story of a Roman General that comes back victorious from the war, makes an ill choice when presented with the chance to decide who will be the next emperor, and from then on embarks his whole family in a tale which includes the aforementioned sex, rape, mutilation, betrayal, revenge and even some cannibalism thrown in for good measure. As usual, the dialog is kept the same as in the original play, and, also as usual, the time period/wardrobe/props are given the proverbial finger. Anthony Hopkins delivers a great performance as Titus which, although having its moments, ultimately falls short of making an impression due mostly to the points I mentioned before. Rome is moved to present day, with motorbikes and cars replacing horses and chariots. The photography is good, although I found the cutscenes that represented ignominy and insanity overly pretentious and somewhat annoying. What I felt when the movie ended is that I should now go read Titus Andronicus and enjoy that movie in my head since it will definitely be much better than this one.

— sergio on July 28, 2003