Rants and Articles.
On my own.
I just moved out on my own. Prior to this, I shared the parental home with the brothers and —sometimes— mother (she spends a lot of time in Chicago, with father).
To many foreign readers it may seem odd that I’m emancipating at 28 years of age, but you’d be making the mistake of judging mexican society according to extraneous sets of rules. Let’s just say that over here, emancipation is not encouraged. It is even considered a forceful insult in some cases. Most mothers’ mantra: You leave the house…
- To study abroad.
- To marry (a broad?).
- Dead.
Hence, it took a while to convince the female parental unit that it was about time for me to just go on my own, but she eventually understood my point of view, and we’re still on good terms.
I’ve been alone on my apt for more than a month now. This is my rough diary of the first few days:
Day 1: This is awesome! It’s freaking freaking great! It would be even greater if I wasn’t so knackered from moving all the furniture in! And I still have to reassemble my futon!
I’ll try not to sleep on the floor!
And fail!
Day 2: Bad news: There is no water pressure in the shower. This is about the worst thing that could happen. Evar.
Also, it seems water heater is not working. Pretending to be zen monk while dousing ass with ice cold water. Ice cold pressureless water.
Current Zen meditation Mantra: HOLYFUCKINGMOTHERFUCKERFUCK!!!
Day 3: Watched “Ghostbusters” and “The Lost Boys” back to back. Confirmed theory of cinema worthiness. Theory of cinema worthiness states that the 80’s gave us the best Hollywood ever had to offer. Plus, anything with Kiefer Sutherland rocks. Anything with Kiefer Sutherland and Corey Feldman rocks harder.
Started (*gasp*) buying food.
- Bought meat, but no cooking oil.
- Bought cheese, but no tortillas.
- Bought butter, but no bread.
- Ended up eating sausages and cheese. Uncooked.
Water heater turned on, then turned itself off. Bathed with cold water. Balls the size of pine nuts at current time.
Day 4: Discovered true advantage of living alone: Walking naked all over the place.
Day 5: Discovered living room floor-to-ceiling window provides clear visibility from the street.
Hoping that girl who was passing by won’t press charges.
Day 6: Water heater displaying vexing behavior, proving itself a formidable foe. This is shaping up to be a battle of epic proportions.
- Water heater: 2
- Tenant: 0
Day 7: Had enough. Asked landlady to fix water heater and put some pressure in shower. Shower pressure problem turned out to be a clogged showerhead.
Water heater turned out to be automatic (it is apparent that there have been several advances in water heater technology since I last dabbled in its arcane secrets).
As the demonstration went on, Landlady kept repeating “you see, ENGINEER, you just turn this knob here and the water heater goes on automatic mode, like so”, “well, ENGINEER, yes, it will turn on when you need the hot water. By itself. Yes.”, “ENGINEER, it’s not the water pressure, the showerhead is just a bit clogged up…”.
I think that woman hates me.
Spent 2 hours picking at showerhead with pin. Eyed water heater suspiciously for rest of evening.
— sergio on July 20, 2005 
Comments
Maybe I should have got you a shower head for your birthday and maybe some new balls too, ENGINEER, to deal with your sarcastic landlady.
I love that I live on the other side of the country from my parents. Mind you, I love my parents and get along with them but there comes a time you need your own life completely seperate from theirs.
The first week I moved into my apartment I was out of money from paying the first months rent and the 1 1/2 months deposit I had to put down. Rent in New York is outrageous so I was happy when I found a nice place in a nice neighborhood with a rent that wasn’t outtathisworld. I was completely broke, sans $20 in my wallet. $15 went for gas and $5 went for 1/2 loaf of wheat bread, small jar of peanut butter and a 1 lb. bag of black beans…. that’s all I ate for a week. But it was the best.
As far as your showerhead, for future reference, there’s actually this cleaner thing that actually declogs the shower head without a pin. CLR or something like that.
And walking around in various stages of undress totally rocks.
Oyes, ingeniero, I hope your balls grow back soon! ji ji ji :-P
I have to agree with the walking around…er…with the water heater problems.
I swear, everyone in my building has an agreement to open the hot water exactly 2 minutes after i’ve stepped into the shower.
(And yeah, only one big heater in the building)
Another possible birthday gift would have been a cook book for engineers…hmm, now that i think about it, heard of “cooking for engineers? “http://www.cookingforengineers.com/ I love that site :-)
I remember the first time alone on my first appartment, smoking old day, watching movies… and feeling completely alone with a empty stomach
Lets not forget the best part of moving out. The hookers! Oh, so many dirty dirty hookers.
“Most mothers’ mantra: You leave the house…
* To study abroad.
* To marry (a broad?).
* Dead.”
And then people wonder why we’re a ‘machista’ country hehehehehehe
Sergio, I wonder how much of that water heater scene is made up for our enjoyment …. are you serious about not figuring it out? C’mon man! Do some googling damn it :) Pressurized water pipes, well… pressurized water is something I miss sometimes and you could only get it here if
1. You live in the ground floor of a 25-story building
2. You have your own firetruck
3. Play with one of those pressurized cooking pots (highly dangerous mind you)
Oh, but the benefits of living on your own… as MCard Corp says: priceless, specially if said female parental unit still thinks of you as a 2-year old toddler that can barely walk, dress and feed himself ;)
i love to live alone
but i missed real food so long
so i found a girlfriend
now i got best of both worlds
everything you write makes me giggle. i go to a boarding school and i understand some of the stuff you’re dealing with. my roommate hates when he comes back from class to find me listening to the bad pop and dancing around in a robe or less.
its a mad world out there.
This is one of the funniest blog articles I’ve read for awhile.
It reminds me alot of my first time living on my own (almost each time I move anywhere on my own actually - now that I think about it!)
…”Eyed water heater suspiciously for rest of evening.”
#Laughs #
(You’ll do this for weeks to come…Water Heaters have an agenda all of their own y’see?!)
Hahaha. That’s hilarious. You have an art for comic[ry?].
I still have a few years under my belt before I’ll be in a position to move though, lol.
Sounds a bit better than my first college experience. I shared a suite (but had my own room thankfully) with a playboy jock. I almost got him in trouble one time with his fiance because I asked why she didn’t like my Michael Jordan poster in our hallway.
He was standing behind her making the “cut-it-off” motion across his throat. Later on I realized the female voice I’d heard making fun of my poster was not indeed his fiance. If any of y’all have seen the movie SideWays, he was like the jerk actor-friend from that movie.
Anyways, done ranting. Glad to hear that you’re just having problems with the appliances and not any annoying neighbors.
‘On my own: Part II’
‘The neighbors!!!’
Nice. I’m just in the process of finding a place myself. I won’t be alone for that long tho (I’m moving to marry). I just hope that nothing bad happens to me. Thanks for the oh-so-wonderful reassurance. Just the kind of thing I needed. Now my brain will begin the litany of things that could (and probably will) go wrong. Hooray for independence, and the trials that go with it.
El remojón del depa… ¿cuando se lo damos? =)
Felicidades ingeniero, colega, ingenierouu…
It sounds like I should be grateful that I don’t have a clue where the hot water in my apt comes from and have never had the occasion to wonder.
congrats :D
Your post brought a much needed laugh today :)
Japan also follows the lines of older ages for emancipation. Often times even marriage doesn’t lead to emancipation, just more tenants in the house. I’m fond of the idea, but I think my parents would have killed me (or I them), had I not left the house upon turning 18.
Move out, but still live close enough to parents so you can raid the refrigerator. BTW it’s the same way in Jamaica - you move out to go to a different country or get married - going to the university in town is not a suitable excuse.
I’m moving to Vancouver next month. I’ll be in a similar situation. I’m so used to having a hispanic roommate… also, she cleans a lot more than I do, so she’s much like a mother in that respect. On the other hand, I’ll be leaving in an actual city, not in a lame suburb. So that should be great.
I’m looking forward to visiting you in your new apartment next time I’m down there—most likely in December.
Get yourself a decent cookbook :)
“Day 4: Discovered true advantage of living alone: Walking naked all over the place.”
Hehe, so I’m not crazy. Or maybe both of us are just crazy. My roomies just move out a month ago. Unfortunatly I Got new ones coming in September. Hopefully I will be able to handle life with roomates again.
Cuanto cobras para design un website?
norb: Great comment. I’ve already started trying the Batman thing.
Kits: Bite me.
To all those concerned about the well-being of my balls: Thank you very much. The water heater has been more civil as of late, and this has led to a general betterment (that even a word?) of their topology and size.
I bet you didn’t want to hear that, did you?
So far I can say that living alone rocks. I also love cooking, so I haven’t resorted to the dreaded Maruchan soup ordeal even once.
God, I really should post more comments…
Omg, I just moved into my first apartment - this is week two and…
a. the water pressure sucks
b. I didn’t buy the right food
c. people can see me naked from the street (damn shades aren’t wide enough)
Haha, too funny. I am definitely going to have to try the pin thing on the showerhead.
Moving out from parents house is frustrating first but it has many advantages, first I can think of:
-Music can be on the whole day and nigth.
-You can have the coffee machine in the living room with coffee all day long( con heno abajo y unos borregitos a los lados la hace muy bien de nacimiento en navidad )
-You can skate over wet floor across the house before you mop.
-You can take anyone to stay there…almost no surprises involved.
-36 straigth hours of videogames and pizza with friends ..no one complains about the smell.
-dress yourself with a towel and pretend to be batman (and playing the soundtrack on the background) .. you can have the joy of doing this naked across across the window you talk about, and flash pedestrians.
I can only hope my tenant doesn’t read this
www.foodnetwork.com , good ideas if you ever grow tired of sausages , cheese, quesadillas and instant soups. And after you become 7-11 best costumer and they give you free a custom coffe mug with your name