Rants and Articles.
Forlorn
“What if she reads it?”, he wonders, as he puts the finishing touches on his latest post.
He’s been silent for longer than usual. Once such a big part of his life, his website has now faded into background noise, mute witness to actual living. “Well, sometimes writing about life has to take a backseat to life itself, I guess” — he tells himself as he wonders once again.
What if she reads it?”
He doesn’t even know when it all went wrong. How it happened no longer seems relevant. Sometimes things… they don’t go the way you want them to. It happens. It hurts, but it happens. Sometimes, no matter what you try or say or do, it just doesn’t work out.
He contemplates her picture and thinks about her and wonders what she’s doing. He realizes he has no idea whatsoever (and does his lack of insight have anything to do with how things turned out?). He puts the picture down.
What if she reads it?”
She’ll know he’s still hung up on her. Not that it’s particularly new information, of course. It’s been just days. And they parted amicably, too. Supposedly. Too. And he wonders what happened. How it all got so fucked up so fast. And her answer echoes in his head. Again.
Maybe we’re just not meant for each other”
And he hurts. Because he knows maybe, just maybe, it’s true. He looks over the newest rentals. On the tabletop, Jackie Chan, The attack of the 8-legged freaks and Freddie vs. Jason sit casually next to a fresh six-pack and two cigarette boxes. And as he wonders, once again
what if she reads it?”
he mutters “fuck it” and presses “post”.
— sergio on June 21, 2005 
Comments
Lo siento. Muy triste.
I recommend “Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word” by Sir Elton John.
I recommend 2 bottles of tequila. MD friends always tell me that’s the best medicinie.
dont forget to stir it with mariachi.
dude, condolences…
ahhhh - but doesn’t that feel better with a push of the button? and at least now she does know…..
:(
serg, sorry com’pa
¿Acaso estas fumando de nuevo?
My condolences.
Hopefully it will be the last time, sadly it may not.
Keep your chin up Sergio.
:-( Hard times my friend but they are more out there to choose from. Don’t give up !!!
Told ya Sergio, the answer is Don Julio.
I’m sorry man. That’s rough.
My condolences.
Cheers on the post. Last year, when I broke up with my girl of 15 months, I struggled a lot with what to post and what to leave unsaid. You captured that struggle really well. Thank you for that.
…
Cheers mate… To life, and whatever role we play in it.
Sorry, Sergio. Really.
*pouts*
I knew it would end in pain. You went to far too fast. This was the only way. Enjoy the pain, it only lasts briefly.
No retreat, no surrender.
Como lo siento… lo unico que se que de verdad funciona es el tiempo… that and sleeping in the middle of the bed.
Nice post… sorry to hear about that, truly am. I would lke to say something to make you feel better but truth is you’ll feel like crap either way, so I wish the best of luck to you with that.
And if Freddy, the boose snd the tabacco fail you, always remeber the wise nostalgic words of Alfred: ‘Why do we fall, Mr Wayne? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.’
(Wat? It was a good movie!)
AJ has a point! I loved that line…
I`ve been thinking of you… is that enough?… I still love you… is that enough?…
Now… that’s an interesting reply…
I guess you shouldn’t wonder anymore about her reading it…
But… you already knew that…
Mal ae Sergio… but wat was her name?
Chale, no se me ocurre algo menos agresivo, pero me dan ganas de irle a partir su mandarina en gajos a esta individua… Además de que ya estaba pensando en el modelito para la boda, porque ¿si me ibas a invitar, vea? ¿VEA? O_o
Bueno, creo que ya la estoy cagando, gagh… Ánimo guapura. Ánimo =)
breath, brother, just breath. People come and go in our lives like passing breaths, and the joy of the memory of the fullness we experience can last much longer than the emptiness we feel when the moment passes.
Just breath.
Try http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
no…really!
“I still love you… is that enough?…” she said.
The proof is in the pudding, I say.
You two… What can I say? I guess E and I weren’t good enough cupids after all. Or maybe shit just happens, things have a way of working and unworking themselves out. :(
Sergio, I would like to be there with you right now. Still I can’t.
If you want I have bunches of bottles waiting to be drained for us here in Puebla, maybe it would help.
El apego es un estado emocional de vinculación compulsiva a una cosa o persona determinada, originado por la creencia de que sin esa cosa o persona, no es posible ser feliz.
Así de fuerte estaba apegada a el…
Trust me I know how does it feel and I’m sure that everything, yes even the pain, is there for a reason. Enjoy when you are down so you can taste the ups (did that mae any sence? to me it does)It’s a pleasure to meet you, don’t deny that pleasure to people even yourself
sorry to hear about this serg, my next drink will be for you.
nice page; nice design.
your page didn’t validate.
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A good entry.
One can almost feel your pain.
But no pain no gain. ;-)
..and you shall return even stronger than before.
/me opens a beerbottle
There just never is a good balance in life until you find the “one” it seems. You are either happy partying and going wild, but get lonely at times…or you get in a relationship that makes you miss the partying times with a good chance of it ending and you going through the partying phase again with your only option to start a network of sites and invite a crazy Mexican to come write for you so that you can read about his heartache.
Glad that never happened to me.
Estoy de acuerdo con Squirre…
Ser quien quieres ser y buscar compartirnos con otro ser es la cuestión, No depender de ese ser….ni que dependan de ti.
Sergio, la única persona con la que cuentas para encontrar felicidad, tranquilidad, estabilidad,confianza, fuerza para levantarte, eres tú y sólo tú.
Siente la tristeza hasta el fondo, eso es bueno, pero regresa pronto que hay muchas cosas más que vivir que te esperan y seguro serán mejores.
THAT´S FOR SURE.
sorry to hear.
Animo dude!.. It was brave to post that.
All right, I’ve been coming here religiously for over a year now. Up until now I have never felt the urge to post, mostly because it seemed like banter between friends and I didn’t want to intrude… until now.
What the heck was that Livier post about?!?!?
Why did everyone continue to post sympathetic comments after that? Did you miss the comment? Was it a fake reply posted by a totally sick person (in which case they should be shaven and sandblasted)? Why has it not been addressed yet?
I’m sure it’s none of my business and we will eventually hear about its part in this whole thing later, I just couldn’t contain myself any longer! I had to ask!!
Thanks for all the comments of support, everyone. It really means a lot to me that you’d all devote a few minutes of your time to making me feel better (and you did).
Sorry about that Wallace. As for your questions: The comment is for real (she told me). I’ve seen her a few times since this was published. It’s been… odd. I don’t really want to dwell on this, and I don’t really know if it will go anywhere at all anymore, so I haven’t addressed it here.
Anyway, thank you everyone!
Suena familiar amigo, recientemente escribi un poema exactamente acerca de esto:
Eristic Reality
Only fools rush in
Wisely dictates the tune
Hard to obey
When one cant but stare at the moon
One minute all is good
then it slipps through ones fingers like sand
Better to be safe
do not look up from the land
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufffffffffffff!
fuerte, muy fuerte.