Rants and Articles.
Phone call
*BEEP* New SMS message for you from: Sofía
Background note: The latest ex, who finished a 3-year relationship right before starting another one with me, and later dumped me in order to be alone and feel miserable, which —oddly enough— turned out to be true, and not just an excuse. Hung out with her for a while afterwards, then lost contact when she started being “too busy”.
How are you?”
clicky → “Call this number”
connecting…
Her: Hello?
Me: Hey! How are you?
So you finally made first contact! I knew you would!
— Fine!, and you?
— Great!
Kind of wondering how much more it would take you, woman! How long has it been? A month? Two?
— My friends told me they saw you at the Halloween party on Friday.
— Oh, yeah, I talked to them for a while.
— How was it?
I ended up smoking apple-flavored tobacco from a bong at 5am and dancing tango with long-legged 16-year old Danish girl while entertaining highly illegal thoughts about her…
— Oh, you know, it was fine… same old same.
— What did you dress like?
— I went as “The crow”. You know me, I like simple things…
I was drop-dead GORGEOUS, woman! You should have seen it! You’d have been all over me! Totally!
— Cheap, huh?
fuckfuckfuck
— Yeah… I just dressed black and painted lines on my face.
— I thought so.
— So, what have you been up to?
— Oh, I’m taking English lessons. Did I tell you about the english lessons?
— Yeah, I kind of remember that.
Hope that means you still don’t follow my blog, ‘cause you know, I just got this sweet idea for an entry…
— So, anyway, I still have your CD, you know?
— Ohh, yeah… the CD…
That’s right! Play it cool, man! You’re Clint in “Few more dollars”, Sean Connery in “Diamonds are forever”. You’re oozing nonchalance out of every pore! Except for the fact that you have no idea what the hell she’s talking about…
— Yeah, it’s still at my house.
— What CD was that?
Johnny Cash? Leonard Cohen? Suzanne Vega? Rigo Tovar’s “Keep Dancing my rythm” with Rigo Tovar and the Grey’s?
— Norah Jones
— Oh, that CD…
Oh, man! Then who the hell has Rigo? Rigo is loooove!
— Yeah, so, we should get together so I can give it back to you
*Confident, aloof grin* (think Paul Newman in “Cool Hand Luke”) — note to self: tape video of self performing confident, aloof grin and send to Sofía so she fully appreciates moment.
— I see, so, when should we get together?
— I’ve been very busy. I’ll call you, ok?
Huh? Whatthefuck was that? Are you brushing me off? You don’t get to brush me off, woman! You began this goddamned conversation!
— Yeah, you do that… See you.
— Yeah, see you!
*click*
Fuckfuckfuck! Did she just brush me off? How the hell did that happen?
What do you think? Will she call?
— sergio on November 03, 2004 
Comments
she will call
I love Kitta’s idea!
She might call…and when she does you should try Kitta’s idea! I love it.
Dude…I don’t think she will call…sorry man. didn’t she call you before about this exact same thing???? I kindda remember this……Anyway you should look for rigo’s CD instead cause you know “Rigo is looooove!!”
Ugh. That sucks. I think she’ll call because she’s probably satisfied with the way this call went. I wholely support Kitta’s suggestion.
You souldn’t be worry about her calling you, she doesn´t have Rigo’s CD!!… :) … by the way, if she calls, I’m with Kitta.
Be straight Sergio, Don’t fall again, I remember you after that relation and you were so sad!, actually I was thinking If she is calling is because she missed or maybe because she missed your invitations to go out so don’t call her, I also support kitta’s idea and once you get Rigo’s CD let me know I would like a copy of it!..
I cant remember this particular ex of yours. Was I in mexico when you were going out with her? could you give me some more tips on who she is?
Next time tell her that you’ve bought it again and that she may keep it. Make sure you mention the long legged girl at some point, though. ;-)
Seems the Danish girl is the solution to this whole ordeal.
On the other hand, write more stuff like this more often!… He he he. :-P
Ex’s are that way… when they are bored or depressed just make phone calls to unprevented not-so-happy boys only to punk’em so they can still feel like divas.
Even if you’ve tried to reverse roles (you know.. like you’ve said “sorry, i’m busy first) she’ll keep trying until you loose your guard and then.. muahahaha congrats you are heart-ripped. Yep, i’m taking it personal.
Anyway… i’m with kitta too.
Pathetic!
She just called you because her friends, told her you looked good, and seemed happy and like you moved on, and probably mentioned the long leged danish girl, and she thought that you perhaps changed in a way she might be interested in, or just felt jealous, so she calls with this lame excuse just to check up on you.
Don’t give her the satisfaction!
I know what you need. Closure!
Why dont YOU call HER, tell her to keep the fucking cd(its not like its Rigo or anything), and say that if you want to hear _her_ again(oops you meant “it again”, cough a litle and correct yourself) IT again(the cd) you’ll just download it off the internet.
Yeah, the friends must have mentioned the danish girl!
Just tell her to keep the CD and leave you alone.
Because I am evil, I propose the following course of action:
1. Call the girl. Ask if she has any particular place she’d like to exchange CDs.
2. Politely decline whatever place she suggests. Suggest the nearest music store; insist that you wanted to buy something there anyway.
3. Do not show up. Bask in the knowledge that this cruel and unusual ex is wandering shiftily around a music store with an open CD and no receipt.
4. Inquire as to whether the Danish girl has any older siblings.
AHahahahaahahaha! You people are awesome. Great suggestions, and very interesting opinions. Some answers…
Kits: That would rock. Wonder if I could convince Danish girl (Cecile) to do that…
Gabo: This relationship took place about 4 months ago. I actually never blogged about it because the relationship status seemed a little shifty at the time, and it didn’t last that long anyway. You never met her. She used to hang out with Sol, Monica and Fofo y Pau (with Fernando’s crowd, basically) but I met her through another venue (she’s a friend’s wife’s cousin)
Re:Danish girl — We all had a great time at the party and afterwards (see linked hector’s post for details), but that’s about it. Cool night.
And I seem to have struck a nerve with a big chunk of the male audience. You guys get this, right? I mean, isn’t it ennerving??
Bianca: I ROFLed and LOLed ad nauseaum at your evil suggestion. It rocks. I might just try that sometime =)
You could do what bianca says, except that you show up with someone else (could be the danish girl), ask her for your cd, introduce her to long legged girl (she just wanted to give you back your cd, did she?) and once you’re in the CD store: BUY RIGO’S CD!
1. Add ice
2. Two parts vodka, 4 parts canberry juice
3. Shake
4. Add lemon wedge
5. Repeat after me “FUCK HER”
6. Drink
7. If she calls back, never answer.
Repeat until you don’t remember her name.
Forgot to add… You broke the golden rule of NEVER calling back an ex if all they did was send you a text message. You wait at least 3 days and send a text message back.
I think you may be on to something, Gustavo… You should tell me more about these rules…
So… the ex is bored… possibly feeling misserable… and sends you a MESSAGE!… which you INMEDIATELLY responded by calling her… that is not a good start for the call… hehehe…
And she ends up dumping you again… ROFL..
Just call her back and tell her that you are too busy to pick the damn CD, that she can keep it… that you never liked it anyways… that you now share Rigo’s love…
Make sure she gets the point that you are calling her exclusivelly to tell her that you are too busy to see her… hehehe…
Oh I hate so much these kind of silly games… I mean, why don’t you just told her you’re still onto her? why are we humans so afraid to show our feelings? Come on!
The more honest you are, the less emotional stress you have. So I’d say -against all the comments above- to take the phone now, call her and find out what is really going on with this girl? Do you understand me? gaaaahhh!!!
And, if you don’t or if she doesn’t show any interest, move on kiddo! Hakuna matata! Just keep swimming! I’m sure there are lots of chicks that would love to be with you.
Jeez… We make relationships so complicated…
Did I say I was still into her?
It seemed so… aren’t you? hehehe…
oh and I wrote these, it’s this*
Not really, no… Not that way, anyway. It’s more a matter of “having the last word” or something of the sort.
I say you should go for Bianca’s suggestion.. but instead of making and appointment in a cd store, make it in a God forsaken railroad, then have some friends go there and chase her wearing nothing but huge black dildos…
… and… oh wait… never mind… I’m dazing off again.
If she calls you back be sure to have Cecile around so she can pick up… or when she calls you she can say something like: “Excuse me, can I call you back later? I have a beautiful long-legged underage Danish girl stripping in front of me… C’ya!”
I say you should go for Bianca’s suggestion.. but instead of making and appointment in a cd store, make it in a God forsaken railroad, then have some friends go there and chase her wearing nothing but huge black dildos…
… and… oh wait… never mind… I’m dazing off again.
If she calls you back be sure to have Cecile around so she can pick up… or when she calls you she can say something like: “Excuse me, can I call you back later? I have a beautiful long-legged underage Danish girl stripping in front of me… C’ya!”
Wouldn’t that be a bit too… I don’t know… illegal, Artax?
Not to mention kind of scary.
I thinking having him arrested for “Lewd Conduct With a Long-Legged Swiss Girl” would sort of give the ex-girlfriend the last word, really.
(Although apparently, “Lewd Conduct With a Long-Legged -Danish- Girl” is fine. *smacks self on head*)
Tell her you’re moving to a foreign country. One with no phones, email, telegraph, etcetera.
Unless you really, really want that CD, I suggest you stay away from her… but I’m just a random stranger off the internet, so take my advice with a brick-sized grain of salt.
Update your comic. :P
did she called u?
Frank: She sent me a text message on Saturday to let me know she was with my friend and his wife (her cousin), which was to be expected, since they’re from out of town and were visiting. She also mentined that there’s a new Nick Cave album out, which I should check.
Anyway, I spent most of the weekend in a vegetative state, and didn’t see the message until Monday. I haven’t answered back.
If there are more developments I will post a new entry on that =)
Sergio: Dude, I suggest you visit http://www.fastseduction.com
And I agree with Love Doctor. Another possibility is that she just needs to know that you still care about her (which, alas, of course you managed to show that right away) because she felt depressed and needed to boost her selfesteem.
Cheer up and go for the danish girl, they are pretty, liberal and have a more male personality than Mr. Clint (but that’s just a minor quirk, you’re not marrying her) although I’m not responsible for any legal consequences that cultural exchange may imply ;)
Long time no read. Great Post.
I just need to clarify something. It is mostly Sol’s crowd. And they are CRAZY. All of them girls in that crowd. Demented.
Stay away. Keep clear. 9,665 kilometres, an ocean, a husband on her part and a live-in girlfriend on mine did not keep Sol from trying to keep a hold on my life.
And Sofia is smarter.
BTW 16 is legal in Mexico. And 16 long legged is not only a right, it is a patriotic duty.
Hello, i’m gay…
Good for you Daniel!
I say send the long-legged Danish girl over to pick up the CD because you’re “too busy”. ;o)