We will be famous someday, and you’ll stand in long lines to see us, and brag and rave to your terribly unhip buddies about how you knew us back when we were indie, before all the high profile deals and commercial shit hit the fan. You’ll recall with unabated gusto that our earlier work was much better —because that’s the thing to do— and deep inside you’ll grin to yourself in self-assuring satisfaction.

We are, of course, Guadalajara. One of the biggest Mexican cities. “The tapatian pearl” (a self-referencing reference, roughly meaning “Guadalajara, the pearl of the Guadalajara region”), distressingly named after another such city in Spain, which is not very much unlike being the Nickelback to Creed —what with both being a bit crap but renowned nonetheless— a fact which must always come out of some smartass’s mouth when discussing the geography of our fine citizens’ hometown…

But nevermind that.

We will be famous.

Come May 28, we will host the 3rd Summit of Latin America & the Caribbean-European Union, and you will read all about it in the newspaper and smile and say: “I knew these kids would go places, didn’t I tell you?”.

We will be famous, that is of no discussion. To ensure a smooth transition from the gray area of second-placity to the peak of famousness:

• We’re dumping nearly 30 million dollars to make superfluous fixes with substandard materials to several of our pothole-ridden roads —nevermind that our citizens have been requesting these actions for years. These are dignitaries we’re talking about, are they not?
• We’re leveling and completely rebuilding perfectly functional, if cracked, sidewalks. Because there will walk dignitaries.
• We’re employing eight construction companies with hundreds of workers and heavy machinery to plant rose bushes and embellish the fucking roadside, and giving ourselves little over a month to achieve this goal (knowing full well that most of the repairs are likely to fall apart to neglect and shoddy workmanship about three hours after the dignitaries have left).
• This means our citizens are putting up with horrendous traffic at all hours, roads are blocked all over the place and activity is disrupted in nearly every district.
• We’re calling this sham the Guadalajara Program for Urban Renewal and we’re not even trying to hide the fact that all this is just a last ditch effort at being presentable for the Dignitaries, who will no doubt be impressed by the smoothness of our streets, the utter whiteness of our lampposts and the immaculate grayness of our sidewalks. Perhaps they’ll even appreciate the brownness of our noses and the purity of our hypocrisy.

But nevermind that. We will be famous. And you will rave on about how you knew us way back. When we were indie.

— sergio on May 06, 2004